Nice Girls should'nt be marrying beasts!
by johnnybrian64
Summary: What happens if Beauty and the Beast occurred on the Discworld? The Same Village Belle who arrived on the doorstep of one Esme Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg under mysterious circumstances, and what should happen if Belle who is a witch in training should happen to meet the same enchanted castle? A/U a couple of OC follows the plot of Witches Abroad and Beauty and the Beast
1. A New Beginning

Beauty and the beast

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom…There lived a prince in a shining castle and although he had everything his heart desired the prince was spoiled selfish and unkind then one winters evening an old beggar woman was seeking shelter from the bitter cold all she could offer was a single rose as payment. Repulsed by her haggard appearance the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old beggar away but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances for beauty is found within when he dismissed her again she revealed herself to be a shining enchantress the prince tried to beg for mercy but it was too late for she had seen that there was no love in his heart as punishment she transformed him into a hideous beast ashamed at monstrous shape hid himself away with only a magic mirror as his window to the outside world the rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose it would bloom forever until the prince had learned to love another and earn their love in return if not he would be doomed to be a beast for all time as the years passed into decades he lost all hope…for who could ever learn to love a beast?...

In a place of space and time on the space and time on the Discworld which is bore aloft upon the backs of four elephants on the shell of the great atuin the sky turtle and it is a place of magic a place of wizards and witches and in this place of magic there is a village and that village has a very special someone indeed her name is not important right now all you have to know that she is the witch of this small town where anyone smarter than a pig is generally frowned upon, Esme Weatherwax knew this and made sure to let everyone know what happens to witches elsewhere where people have the sense of a blind bat does not happen here or more importantly what does not happen to her otherwise she will happen. Right now, however was tea

"My teas gone all cold Gytha heat it up, will you?" Said a tall thin elderly woman sitting in a rocking chair*

*that's the thing about the rocking chair it was made for the very creaky because it creaked along with you!

"Sorry Esme but what you go and show me that trick fer!"

"You had to see it im showing up to those witch trails with this trick Lettuce Earwig will turn sour because of this you mark my words Gytha Ogg" The Two witches sat and mostly said nothing… I mean they had known each other for 50 years they knew what the other one was going to say even before she said it*

*this is called First sight Second thoughts and third thoughts and fourth thoughts until you cant think anymore and all you hear is yourself however a skilled witch or occasionally mad wizard may achieve this and usually end up more sane than usual.

Suddenly there was a pounding on the door a ragged young man dressed in green and chainmail fell on the floor panting with sweat "Take this!" just as the man passed out…from life. There was a flicker of light Then Standing in the Arch of the Doorway was DEATH "AH GOOD DAY ESME WEATHER WAX AGE 55 AND GYTHA OGG AGE"

"Oops I never tell me age dearie" "AH YES THAT WIT AND HUMOR OF THE OGGS" DEATH said sourly

What is it you want mr reaper our friend here?

"YES, AND THE BABE"

"Babe?" Gytha ogg picked up the bundle in the soldier's arm she opened the bundle to reveal a beautiful little baby girl with brown eyes and a little button nose. "Oh whos your precious nan yes you are yes you are goochy goochy goo"  
"Gytha! Act your age!"

"Esme your not going to tell me how to raise a child with fifteen of my own?"

"EXCUSE ME BUT I HAVE OTHER CLIENTS TO ATTEND TOO"

Esme Weatherwax looked at the child she looked at her with all her mind and she saw something, but it was not there before she took in a breath and said "No the child you shan't have I will have to play you Mr. Death five card draw who ever has the higher hand wins the bet"

Death paused for the briefest moment and finally Death thought "VERY WELL" They both sat down on the sofa and drew from the top of the deck both not looking then Death said "TAKE MY HAND AND ILL TAKE YOURS" They switched hands and Esme revealed her hand it was 4 queens then death said " AH IT SEEMS YOU HAVE BEATEN ME AGAIN ESME WEATHERWAX, ALL I HAVE ARE THESE FUNNY ONE CARDS THEY KEEP PUTTING IN THE DECK I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT" Death rubbed his shoulder gave Esme a brief look a look to suggest that the tiny blue pin in deaths eye socket dimmed for the briefest second and then was back to normal. "Need help with your shoulder Mr Death?"

"YES THANK YOU WHENEVER I GO TO SWING UP IT ACTS UP ON ITS OWN"

"Here let me help you with that" With a crack and twist Esme Fixed Deaths Shoulder  
"AH THANK YOU AND NOW I MUST BE GOING BUT MAY I ASK? IF YOU HAD LOST WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?"

"For starters I would have broken your arm" Death Flinched suddenly

Some hours later Gytha had Jason make the baby's cradle its wonderous work when your mum comes in the middle of night yelling at you to make a baby's cradle but Jason Ogg knew not to pick this fight…or any fight for that matter for a slight to one witch even if its your mum is a slight to all witches and no one wanted Esme Weatherwax explaining that to you.

"Now theres a good lad fetch us some milk not too cold our Jason the little mite has had a long trying day the poor dear"  
"Yus mum... um mum whats her name mum?" Gytha looked at the childs big brown eyes and little old grandmothers like nanny were putty in the hands of grandchildren and seeing how she brought beauty into her life Nanny named the Child…Belle.


	2. Books!

CHAPTER 2

Life* went on in the small little town no one knew about or really cared mostly it was farmers getting up at 3 am in the morning yelling at the cow and throwing a bucket at it and then go back to sleep for the whole day. However, to one Girl life was very Different she was riding her first broom stick and, in most cases, ending badly. She is tall with a long neck like swan dressed in a blue dress with a white apron and a pair of brown ballet flats**

*One day your 2 and wondering when you'll get a sweetie from Nan next thing you know lifes says "im sorry but the next 16 years are going to be complicated but hey sport at least your not like those poor kids in klatch who draw water from some desert well

**Esme had be against these she thought it was not right for a man to see a witches feet she felt a witch ought to have good boots at that point Gytha said something like "I had a pair like that when I was a gel" Yes and if I recall you painted them fingernails red too gytha"

She had big brown eyes and kept her hair in a ponytail another point of contention amongst her grandmothers but right now she was dusting her self off from the failed attempt. "I told ya I cant do It Granny Esme"  
"Belle a witch does not the know the meaning of the word failure"

"Granny Esme? Yes, we do it means lack of success"

Granny rolled her eyes and let out a sigh "Be thankful your broomstick starts on the first go why when I was a gel, we used to run up these hills to get my old broom to start" Granny grumbled "it still has trouble" she said sourly

Belle simply smiled she loved doing that because she knew it drove Esme into such a tizzy Belle was a nice girl who was raised by two witches, but people still talked "Grandmother Esme?"

Granny Weatherwax knew when headology was being used and it was being used right now  
"Oh no you don't my girl! You want to go off to that bookstore again and learn ideas from stories"

"Grandmother Esme I just read the books nothing wrong with that" Belle squinted

"That's my point first you read these stories and you get funny ideas and thems leads to cackling my gel do you want to end up funny in the ed? Reading stories gets in the way of proper learning!" She said folding her arms*

*this meant the argument was over however it was not

"Granny please just one book?"

Granny folding her arms rolled her eyes and said "Oh no my gel! You must learn how to fly it's a proper witch skill"

"Oh, come now Esme let the gel go into town that way people know how to respect her" Said nanny ogg coming up the road "Besides nothing wrong with a bit of reading" Granny never trusted books she felt they held too many secrets

"Oh no you don't Gytha Ogg don't be filling her head with ideas its bad enough she don't have proper boots and wears blue! Next thing you know she'll be wearing red and wearing" Granny added darkly "Trousers"

"Nothing wrong with a bit of red esme I wore red when I was a gel"

"you wore red Nan?" said belle innocently

"Oh my yes many a young man would come calling on my house"

"Yes and if I recall they ended up staying the whole night!"

"Esme nothing wrong with that! They often stayed for a bit of supper"

"And other things I shant repeat infront of you my girl"

"Esme you daft old biddie"  
Belle giggled and let her two grandmothers' bicker while she quietly snuck away to the village book and broomstick in hand. It was an early autumn morning the sun was shining like Glod* and the birds were singing** All in all it was a lovely day here in the village of Lancre

*Glod was a dwarf in copperhead who found himself transported to several different locations and copied due to several Deities who could not spell I.E. everything he touched turned to Glod to this day the people of ali beeb are short and foul tempered

** as is the case that kind old mother nature reserves for birds and lost baby birds so the local wildlife I.E. wolves and bears and foxes can find them quickly and efficiently

Lancre where anyone different even if shes a witches granddaughter is talked about behind there back. Still even today with hard work ahead of her and a talking too from Grandmother Esme about how nice gels shouldn't be reading books.

It was nice to get away once and a while. Somewhere she could forget the village witch she was destined to be and something that her grandmothers had been preparing her since she was small. She thought today why not read a story about a daring sword fight atop a castle roof* where hero and villain duke it out over the love of a lady fair. Belle had always disliked the heroines in these books she felt all they did was sit and wait and look pretty, perhaps sing a song to some lost bird or bunny**. She felt they were not at all accurate most of the girls of the village worked all day in the fields and pined over the men for whom eventually they would marry.

Of course, in every little town in the multiverse there is the town hero usually rewarded the title because he ate the most hotdogs or slew a dragon or in this case hunted a pack of wolves all by himself… of course there were trappers and other hunters, but they did not matter because he was good looking and had bigger muscles. In this town that heroes name was Gaston even nanny ogg blushed when he came walking down the street and winked at her*** Whenever belle saw him however she felt he was boorish brute of a man but was willing to tolerate him because he commanded respect from the town sort of like a male version of a witch, the townsfolk respect him but in a way would fear him if decided to go off the deep end that's why they appease his worse appetits and this is why perhaps he can be so forward with Belle the granddaughter and witch in training because he knows he deserves it.

She knows how to confound him however she mearly need mention she must go to Grandmother Esme and he buttons up. Esme Weatherwax a name to be respected and perhaps a bit of fear.

*Whereas all the action would stop as inevitably the bad guy falls off the roof after being heroically pushed by the hero

**This also Attracts Bears,Wolves and Foxes

*** Hes just an ole softy


End file.
